My Monologue Is Depressing

So in acting, we're supposed to do a monologue on hunger. It's depressing so, I decided to shove it on my viewers!~
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I Love Him.

Seriously. I actually think I love him. But, different than before. Not like other crushes. It wasn't infatuation. I can see his flaws. And still, I feel this way.

But. He could be gone. In a matter of seconds. She, she asked him out. My own friend. Some one I laughed with, and cried with. Someone I told almost EVERYTHING. And When she told me, many thoughts ran through my grief stricken head.

Anger, that she'd asked him out. And pretended like the entire argument we had yesterday meant nothing to her.

Frustration, that she had the guts to do it.

Disappointment, in myself, that she had the guts and I didn't. 

Luckily, He hasn't responded yet. And, I'm glad. But, nervous. That there is still the chance he could say yes. And it depresses me. That he could love her and forget all times we shared.

Yet I won't relinquish the feelings I have. I still feel so strongly. Why? I say I love him, and its because, I do. I just can't bring myself to tell him.

Sure he's got his flaws. He's not very good-looking, and he has this ungodly way of bragging about himself but his pros! He can fill a room with light. And he's incredibly intelligent. He's got one of those personalities that just, attract me. His cons may be plentiful but his pros, could fill the grand canyon and still need more room.

Though he has some really bad traits, I would put them all aside, purely for the talks we have. The subtle smiles and laughter. How he could make the entire world around me disappear.

Just me and him. In a hallway, that's all I ask. Him. His mystical way of making me feel special.